


conspire against me

by nap-hime (nap_princess)



Category: Hyouka & Kotenbu Series
Genre: An ending ...?, Friendship, Gen, Humour, Is this … OT4?, Modern AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:20:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26680528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nap_princess/pseuds/nap-hime
Summary: “Stop,”— Houtarou, a question and the mystery of why his friends are so touchy-feely
Relationships: Mentions of Fukube Satoshi/Oreki Houtarou, The Classics Club
Comments: 12
Kudos: 33





	conspire against me

**Author's Note:**

> Notes 1: Based on the meme in the _Hyouka Discord_ where the Classics Club is sitting on a couch but the others are sitting painfully close to Houtarou and he’s like “Do we have to sit like this?”

** conspire against me **

* * *

“Have you guys ever noticed how warm Oreki-san's body temperature is?" Chitanda asks as she feeds two spoonfuls of water to the cactus.

Houtarou glances up from his paperback then looks at the cactus Chitanda is attending to, it's a running gag that it's the Classics Club's fifth member now, though it still doesn't have a name yet.

"I've noticed," Satoshi answers, his grin ever-present.

Mayaka mutters a reply that sounds like an agreement as she takes a peek at Houtarou, looking up from her English homework. “I figured you had come to that conclusion in first year, Chii-chan.”

“When?”

“The moment I saw you dragging Oreki into the library.”

“Ah, that’s true, it isn’t a new discovery,” Chitanda says as she puts back the spoon and takes a seat at her usual spot. “But I’ve never seen you guys holding Oreki-san’s hand so I’m curious to know. Is there a story to it?”

“Kind of.” Satoshi replies.

Hearing this, Houtarou instinctively puts down his book and braces himself. His friends are probably going to start talking smack about his middle school days.

“Oreki’s like a human heat lamp, he can probably hatch a chicken if you hand him an egg,” Mayaka utters, sounding amused at the idea now that she’s said it out loud.

“Really?” There’s interest laced in Chitanda’s voice, and Houtarou doesn’t like it.

Is everyone really going to treat him like a science project? They’re likely going to prod him like he’s an experiment. Mayaka’s already said he should donate his brain to a lab somewhere and Chitanda’s admitted that she’d like to know what’s going on in his mind too.

In his head, Houtarou can see Chitanda bringing him an egg. The others would probably hook their arms around him to stop him from leaving. All this to test out some wild theory. Or maybe Chitanda would hook her arms around him herself? She’s pretty strong.

Houtarou now wishes he wasn’t stuck here. It’s so cold outside, the intense sleet is preventing him from fleeing the scene of the crime.

“I think that was a joke, Chitanda-san.” Satoshi says with an added chuckle. Though, Houtarou isn’t sure if the comment is a saving grace or not.

“I’m still curious to know how you two noticed.”

"I used to stick my hands under Houtarou's armpits when Winter got too much." Satoshi says.

"It was actually my sides, be glad I wasn't ticklish." Houtarou corrects, finally speaking up. “But it was still too touchy-feely,”

“It was.” Mayaka agrees. "That was why you guys were dubbed Kaburaya’s best couple.”

This earns a snort on Satoshi’s end. Chitanda just smiles.

“Seriously,” Mayaka says, giving Houtarou a look. “From the rumours circulating about you two, I almost didn't have the strength to confess way back then. It didn't help that you stood in the background on Valentine's Day either, Oreki."

"Was I supposed to leave?"

Mayaka frowns at Houtarou's oblivious ignorance, "Yes??"

"I can see where your animosity towards Oreki-san comes from.” Chitanda jokes, her smile still present.

"It’s one of the reasons." Mayaka admits. Then she reaches out her freezing hands just to annoy Houtarou and he leans to the far left.

“ _Stop_.”

Mayaka smirks. “I’ve known about Oreki’s hot-blooded self since elementary school. Being in the same class and all, I’d notice our classmates grabbing his hands when the weather got chilly. I used to think Oreki made up a rumour about himself to hold random girls’ hands as an excuse, but then I noticed how irritated he’d look and realise they were the ones after him.”

“What a ladies man.” Satoshi teases.

"Stop." Houtarou repeats. "Don't defend them for leeching off my warmth. The way they used to flock over to me was an inconvenience."

This causes more fits of giggles to erupt around the room.

“Laugh it up, you jerks.” Houtarou says sourly. No one takes it to heart.

“Did you use to steal Oreki-san’s warmth too, Mayaka-san?” Chitanda asks, hiding her laughter between the slips of her fingers.

“Sometimes. I remember pushing my hands against him to stop shivering. I never did anything as intimate as holding his hand or grabbing his arm or anything. Each time he’d frown and tell me to quit it.”

Houtarou eyebrows pull together at this statement. “What are you talking about, Ibara? The first time you walked up to me, you slapped your palm against my cheek and gazed into my eyes. It wasn’t even lowkey intimate, it was pretty highkey.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that. I think I was more caught up in seeing what all the fuss was about. I wanted to catch you looking away in case it was a bluff.”

“It wasn’t.”

“True,” Mayaka nods,

Honestly, it was like the time Mayaka held onto the disbelief that Houtarou couldn’t solve mysteries. And in the mid-sentence of wanting to explain himself, Satoshi takes the opportunity to push the flat of his palm against Houtarou’s neck.

It causes him to jerk away.

"Quit it," Houtarou tells them then rubs Satoshi’s touch on the collar of his school uniform.

“I thought we were Kaburaya’s best couple?”

“I’m going home if you guys don’t stop bothering me.”

“What about the weather? Weren’t you waiting for the sleet to stop and turn to snow?” Satoshi reminds him.

“I’ll go sit at the library then. There aren’t any heaters in the club room anyway.” Houtarou reasons, ready to dip out with his bookbag and white trench coat. He’s already rising from his seat.

“How about we just forget the conversation and I make a cup of hot tea for everyone?” Chitanda offers, putting herself in the position of peacemaker.

Houtarou slowly sits down. “That sounds good.”

“Geez, you’re so dramatic, Oreki. And yet you’re so easily persuaded too.” Mayaka mutters and rolls her eyes before turning back to her homework.

Houtarou throws Mayaka a glare but it goes unnoticed. He wants to respond, _“I’m **not** dramatic,” _but he has to let it go now; despite Satoshi’s giggling and his mild annoyance, it seems Mayaka’s already moved on and Chitanda’s already making tea.

So he just grunts. He’ll be wasting more energy over something small if he keeps going at it.

When the water stops boiling and Houtarou’s nose is buried in his book again; all seems right and back to normal. And as Chitanda sets down the last cup — Houtarou’s cup — she makes a move and touches his exposed wrist with the tip of her finger.

Chitanda grins and Houtarou makes a face, pulling his hand away. Ambushed! Deceived!

“Give me a break,”

* * *

**end**

**Author's Note:**

> Notes 2: The Kaburaya’s best couple comment is an extract from the _Hyouka_ novel. I feel robbed from the HoutarouSatoshi moment! Especially since Mayaka is the one to say it!
> 
> — 27 September 2020


End file.
